I need you to understand a pattern I've been stuck in — not because I'm irresponsible, or because I "let someone in," but because I am wired to care, and he is wired to exploit that.
This wasn't "bad judgment."
This was:
- emotional hostage-taking
- manipulation
- home intrusion
- threats
- violence
- police involvement
- and me trapped in my own house
There were nights where I was literally too afraid to leave the room. If I left, he threw things, broke things, threatened to expose me, or threatened to hurt himself. I went into survival mode. At one point, I dissociated so hard that I "woke up" with a knife and hammer in my hands without remembering picking them up. That is not normal stress. That is a trauma response.
He didn't "stop by."
He repeatedly snuck into the house.
He repeatedly involved police as a show.
He repeatedly created chaos then acted like the victim.
And every time I gave him a chance, it was because he exploited my empathy and my belief in people's potential.
People say "help others," "be kind," "give second chances."
But when I did exactly that, everyone turned around and blamed me.
I am not the problem here.
The problem is:
- the coercive cycle
- the manipulation
- the police not taking it seriously
- and how isolated I've been in all of this
I want you to understand this because I need accurate context, not assumptions.
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