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Safety, Overwhelm & Crisis Overview
This video explains what overwhelm and crisis look like for me, and how to help without making it worse.
Replace VIDEO_ID_M5_MAIN with your actual video ID.
1 What Overwhelm Looks Like on the Outside vs Inside
On the outside, overwhelm might look like: me going quiet, canceling plans, seeming distant or "checked out," or having trouble making simple decisions. I might seem fine one moment and completely shut down the next.
On the inside, overwhelm feels like: my nervous system is in overdrive, I can't filter out any input (sound, light, emotion, pressure), everything feels urgent and impossible, and I'm operating in pure survival mode. I'm not being dramatic — I'm genuinely drowning.
The gap between what you see and what I'm experiencing is huge. If I seem "fine" but I'm saying I'm not okay, believe me. My ability to mask is not the same as my ability to function.
Translation: what this means for you
- If I say I'm not okay, believe me — even if I look "fine" on the outside.
- My ability to mask my distress is not the same as my ability to function.
- When I'm overwhelmed, I need space and quiet, not solutions or pressure.
2 Crisis Do's and Don'ts
DO: Give me space, check in gently (not constantly), offer practical help (food, quiet, time), and trust that I know what I need. Let me lead on what helps.
DON'T: Try to "fix" me, push me to talk, make it about you, take over my life, or assume you know what I need better than I do. Don't add pressure or urgency when I'm already drowning.
The best help in crisis is presence without pressure: being available if I need you, but not forcing me to engage when I can't. Trust that I know what I need, and give me space to access it.
Crisis support basics
Do
- • Give space and quiet
- • Offer practical help
- • Check in gently
- • Trust my process
Don't
- • Try to fix me
- • Push me to talk
- • Make it about you
- • Add pressure
3 What Actually Helps When I'm Not Okay
Practical help
Food (especially if I haven't eaten), quiet space, time without demands, and simple check-ins that don't require me to perform or explain.
Taking care of small things (errands, tasks) so I don't have to think about them when I can't think clearly.
Being present without needing me to engage. Sometimes just knowing someone is there helps.
Emotional support
Low-pressure presence: "I'm here if you need me" without expecting me to talk or perform.
Validation: "That sounds really hard" without trying to solve it or make it better.
Trust: believing me when I say what I need, even if it doesn't make sense to you.
4 If You Remember Nothing Else from Module 5
Believe me, not my mask
If I say I'm not okay, believe me — even if I look "fine." My ability to mask is not the same as my ability to function.
Space, not solutions
When I'm in crisis, I need space and quiet, not solutions, advice, or pressure to "snap out of it." Trust that I know what I need.
Presence without pressure
The best help is being available if I need you, but not forcing me to engage when I can't. Presence without pressure.
Module 5 Summary
You've seen what overwhelm and crisis look like for me, what helps and what doesn't, and how to support me without making it worse. This is the module to reference when things feel urgent or scary.
Key takeaways
- Overwhelm looks different on the outside vs inside. Believe me when I say I'm not okay.
- In crisis, I need space and quiet, not solutions or pressure.
- The best help is presence without pressure: being available but not forcing engagement.
If you want to go deeper
Playlists & Deep Dives
Crisis & Safety Playlist
Understanding overwhelm, shutdown, and how to help without making it worse.
Overwhelm & Recovery Playlist
Deeper dives into what overwhelm actually feels like and how recovery works.
I'll swap in my real playlists later. For now, leave the placeholder playlist IDs.